What at first sounded merely like quirky and funny expressions has emerged instead as a sophisticated system for describing bad situations.

When people delve deeply into any subject matter, they develop the ability to distinguish minute differences that others don’t notice. This is my wife with bad situations. She seems to have evolved a kind of expertise in that area.

So, I offer this modest attempt at codifying her hitherto strictly oral system of describing crappy situations.

“Circus” - An unusual, often strange, situation characterized by unwelcome behaviour. For instance, “There’s a thousand people trying to get into this place. What a circus!”

“Freak show” – Used when encountering someone who represents a radically different life choice – mixed with a strong dose of bad judgement. For instance, the guy at the pool, his body covered head to toe with tattoos oiling up his bulging belly with sunscreen, illicits the expression: “What a freak show.”

“Gong show” – This is perhaps the most common descriptor. It is used in situations where a demonstrated lack of good judgement also has a humourous aspect. This expression can be used quite effectively to describe a business meeting marred by ineptitude or shenanigans. Or, in the case of the aforementioned fat tattooed sun-bather, if he also happens to be wearing his swimming trunks low on the hipsthat his butt-crack is showing, the expression “What a gong show” might appropriately be muttered.

“Shit show” – Use this expression in situations that are decidedly messier than the previous. For instance, your day at the office finds you double-booked in back-to-back meetings, managing a touchy public relations situation, and sitting through a three-hour meeting characterized by disorganization and chaos.  When asked how your days was by your loving spouse, you may reply: “What a shit show!”

“Train wreck” – Used for a decidedly more dangerous situation that the previous one, characterized by the figurative pile-up that results when the cars go off the track. A bad situation from which there will be casualties.

“Clusterf!*k” – Also knowns as a Charlie Foxtrot in military-speak (or a SNAFU or FUBAR), this expression is used when confronted with a massive degree of confusion or disarray.

Did I miss any?

The kids bounced out of bed and got dressed in their first day of school outfits. Ella, with her new short haircut, had on the stylish black skinny jeans and her longish plaid shirt with the belt thingy. Maddy had a colour-coordinated, striped number that was, well, very coordinated and not plaid. And Ben was wearing his school t-shirt, his black cardigan sweater (“I’m going to wear your favourite sweater, Daddy”) and his new kippah that he got from Joel on our trip to Kamloops.

The morning went well, considering we were all out of practice with morning routines. Breakfast was served and eaten. Lunch was made and packed. Teeth were brushed. Dishwasher was unloaded and loaded. Then off we went.

By all accounts, the school day went well and was followed by play date requests with their long lost friends.

There are lots of first day school pictures posted on the TT web site, but I think this one of Ben is destined to make him the school poster boy for 2010-11.

Sigh, September has begun.

September is probably among my least favourite months. Summer ends. School starts. Repentance weighs heavily.

So it’s no surprise that I feel even more melancholy as summer ends here in Edmonton. It’s already falling to single digit temperatures at night and I am wearing a jacket during the day. And school starts here TOMORROW. September 1. Whatever happened to the day after Labour Day?

The barrage of Jewish high holy days is also upon us. No matter what I do, I always find the spiritual accounting associated with this time of year emotionally taxing. As it should be, I guess.

But, the melancholia will pass.

The twins are starting grade 2 and the teenager is entering her final year of high school. So, it is exciting too – to be applying to universities and pondering the future. For LA, the fall holds a milestone birthday – the one at which it is said life begins.

For me, there will be time again to write and search and discover. I have many new projects lurking on the horizon, including some new blogging efforts.

Stay tuned. It’s going to be a great year.

Figuring that now that we were only 13 hours apart by car (only?), we planned to meet brother Frank and his family somewhere between Edmonton and Vancouver. We decided on Kelowna. Well, actually La Casa Resort and Cottages, near Fintry, BC.

We rented a lovely cottage/home (pictured below, on the left). It was newly built and very comfortable and perched atop a hill overlooking picturesque Okanagan Lake and surroundings.

The facility was lovely and kid-friendly, featuring a pool, tennis courts and playground.

One day, Ben and I hiked down to the lake and back up. Based on my GPS, it was about 500 feet of elevation and a pretty good workout.

It had been a couple of years since the twins had seen their Vancouver cousins so we were all very excited for the time together.

Like all cottage vacations with kids, much time was focused on planning, preparing, eating and cleaning up from meals. We had some good comfort food and some nice wine.

A couple of days were so warm that we were able to eat breakfast out on the deck.

Leah was stuck to her cousin Ella the whole time. It was so sweet. And it made life easier for her parents – all they had to say was that Ella was doing it and Leah was agreeable.

LA found some Miami ribs in Westbank and we were treated to LA’s famous spicy ribs for dinner.

Even though she had to squeeze in some work, LA was having a nice time on vacation.

But the highlight of the trip was the jetski trip. Frank got this idea that we should rent something with a motor. Ben wanted an ATV, but that’s way too dangerous. So we opted for jetskis. I did some quick research and found a rental place just down the road at the Lake Okanagan Resort.

We had a blast. LA won the speed race with a top speed of 70 km/h – with a kid on board. (Next time, Daddy takes the kids and Mommy can ride alone at 82 km/h.)

Second place in the fun category for the kids was the floating trampolines.

In the end, the most amazing part of an extended family vacation is the shared experiences that connect the cousins for the rest of their lives.

Postscript: Each time we take a vacation, Ben finds a way to hurt himself. Usually, the injury involves his sweet face – and this trip was no exception. His left nostril and cheek were scratched, but I think he will live.

After dropping Maddy and Mackenzie at the airport last Wednesday morning, Ben and Ella and I headed south toward Calgary before turning off at Red Deer and driving west toward Rock Mountain House, AB. I wanted to see what it was like to enter the national parks in between Jasper and Banff.

Armed with a dozen of Fiona’s ripped movies, over 7000 mp3 songs, 2 DS gaming systems and a WII that can be connected in the car, we set out for 20 hours of driving over the next two weeks.

By midday, we were in Kootenay National Park approaching the Icefields Parkway. The Kootenay grasslands were beautiful and surprising – precisely the reason I wanted to go this way.

We entered Lake Louise late in the afternoon and stumbled around a bit trying to find our hotel. The Lake Louise Inn was nothing to write home about, but it was just what we needed after a long day of driving. It had a swimming pool, so we started there and ended up back in the room too tired to do anything else.

The kids wanted to order from room service and eat in bed – a luxury they had discovered when we were in transit last year between Toronto and Edmonton. The Westin is a much nicer place to eat dinner in bed, but they still enjoyed it.

In the morning we got out of the hotel quickly and grabbed a quick muffin and juice at the local coffee shop.

The plan was to spend the morning walking and seeing some of the local beauty before heading to Kamloops for dinner. Though, I was torn about where to go. We had come to Lake Louise and we would do well to see the lake and its grand chateau. Yet, a number of people had mentioned to me that Maligne Lake was even more beautiful and urged me to visit. Since the road to Maligne Lake is closed during the winter, I decided this was the place to visit.

Maligne Lake is famous for being pictured on the back of the old 20 dollar note. (Excitedly, I had taken a 20 from my pocket to show Ella where we were going – only to find the bill was a new one and didn’t have any mountains or lake on the back.) And it did not disappoint. The lake was an unreal blue colour and the surrounding mountains were dramatic and picturesque. The best part (for the kids) was the short hike on the Rock Pile that allowed us to get some elevation and better vantage points.

After an hour, they were ready to leave. As a seven year old, there is only so much beauty you can handle. The drive out of the park toward Field and Golden was lovely and only a bit hair-raising. They didn’t have the attention span to see the Spiral Tunnels and we had a lot of driving ahead of us.

While the kids enjoyed a movie, I listened to an audio book reading of Trust Agents by Chris Brogan. The scenery combined with the book was an awesome mind-opening experience about which I will be writing more soon.

After Revelstoke, we encountered the first of the smoke from the BC fires and it continued all the way to Kamloops. Thick and foggy, the air smelled of acrid forest fire smoke. It wasn’t long before I was starting to feel it in my upper chest. Sadly, we were unable to see the scenic mountains as we arrived in Kamloops.

But it was a joy to spend some times with old friends. I met Joel when I was about 16. We were both running for leadership of our youth organization (NELFTY) and we met in the men’s room just before our campaign speeches. The friendship we forged during those years has been enduring. In 1991, Joel and Nuala were married in Vancouver and they stayed there for about 10 years before moving to Kamloops. We had seen them and their family over the years when they visited Toronto, but never been to Kamloops.

Our visit was short and fun. We shared a few great dinners around the family table, went to the Kamloops Museum and took a dip in the Thompson River. Ice cream (just before dinner) at Marble Slab was a highlight for the kids (and Joel).

By Saturday morning, it was time to hit the road. We had to get to Kelowna airport to pick up LA and start our last week of summer vacation high atop Lake Okanagan with Frank and Hanna and Bowen and Leah.

The 2 hour drive from Kamloops to the airport seemed like it would be easy.

I call it the 15 second warning. Here’s how it goes:

“Dad, I’m not feeling well.”

14, 13, 12…

“Are you going to throw up?” I ask from the driver’s seat.

10, 9, 8, 7…

“I just need some fresh air.”

Oh no, “fresh air”. That means I only have 5 seconds!

5, 4, 3…

Watch the road, look for a safe turn-off. Does he have a bag? What’s he wearing? What’s in front of him?

Then, the sound of the window going down.

2, 1…

(Insert vomiting sound coming from backseat. Imagine the rest.)

We’ve been on the road this past week, driving from Edmonton to Lake Louise, then onto Kamloops for a visit with an old, old friend. Now, we are in Kelowna enjoying a magnificient view, moderate temperatures and clear blue skies (i.e., no smoke from the BC forest fires).

Unfortunately, we are without Maddy who traveled to Toronto to visit friends and family before school starts again in September. And that got me to thinking about three – as in three kids.

From the very first day I met Maddy, she has been sweet and open-hearted. And this is how she is on a day-to-day basis (generally speaking) with her siblings. And I can’t stress how great it is to have an older sibling around for the little ones – and I’m not just referring to the care-giving aspect (though that fact is very helpful). Just having an teenager around who is generally a good example will hopefully help all of us when the twosome reaches their teen years.

Having twins has also been a blessing. There are many ways to have a family, but having some twins in the mix is a wonderful thing. They are at least double the fun, but rarely double the work. There are efficiencies of having them at the same stage of life and they are good friends to each other most of the time. When one of them is having a hard time, the other one usually wants to comfort and help. It is very sweet to watch.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how our perfect our family is. But Maddy is a year away from going to university. We’ve been talking about the U of A in Edmonton (that’s where she worked this summer) and that would mean we could have her around. But there are benefits (that come with additional costs) of her attending her undergraduate schooling away from home – independence and self-sufficiency at the top of the list. If I was going to bet, I’d say she will decide to stay in Edmonton.

Which brings me to my recent thinking. I think it’s time for a new blog. Don’t worry though, I won’t abandon this one. But I’ve been thinking its time to dedicate an entire blog to the homemaking dad. More and more dads are being called upon to play a bigger role in – even shoulder the majority of responsibility for – child care and homemaking. Yet, most dads haven’t learned how. Their dads certainly didn’t teach them. And their moms couldn’t get them to clean up after themselves, let alone make a good vinagrette or press a dress shirt.

I learned early to be a homemaker and a food person, rather than an amateur plumber, renovator or home repairman. And I learned from my mother. She expected us to help with the dusting a vacuuming and we learned to cook basic stuff. She taught me how to iron a shirt, make a bed with hospital corners, and make a good vinagrette.

There is much to share and I’ve been thinking a lot about it for a few months. Tell me what you think.

I’ve intended for some time to do a one year post, but now that the time has come it seems like a daunting task. How to capture all that has transpired? How to summarize the meaning of the first year?

For starters, there isn’t just one anniversary, but several. Let me explain.

In May 2009, we got the first indication that a change was afoot. LA and I did a scouting mission out west on the May long weekend and by mid- June, we figured we should bring the kids out here and get serious about finding a house and schools. We visited three schools, looked at 12 houses and spent a day at the WEM. By the end of the trip, we had picked the schools, bought a house and Ben was asking if we could move here. In retrospect, its hard to believe we did so much so fast.

Once the move was in motion, we planned the going away party which took place on August 9 in our Toronto backyard around our lovely, newly built pool. (Now, I’ll never be able to forget that damn pool.) Maddy had just arrived back from Israel and the moving van was scheduled a week later. The party was bittersweet, to be sure, and there were tears (oh, were there tears).

Five days later, on August 14, my mother passed away after several excruciating years struggling with demetia. She had not been taking food for days which turned into weeks. We had just finished packing the the moving truck when I was summoned to the Dearness Home in London for her final hours. She died the next day as I sat holding her hand and listening to Glenn Miller on the CD player.

A heavy sadness filled my heart, but it was mixed with some relief that she would no longer suffer helplessly as she had for so many of her last years.

Without a home, the contents of which were now packed and somewhere on the Trans-Canada Highway on their way to Edmonton, we turned to our second home for the ritual observance of shivah. We sat and prayed and visited for two nights at Temple Emanu-El, joined by a steady stream of old (and new) friends and family. People we would not have seen before moving away came out to remember Patricia and be with us in our time of mourning. I couldn’t help but think that my mother had managed to turn her death into a final life-affirming act.

A few days later, August 19, we boarded a plane and flew to our new city. LA cried the whole way. We were still in the middle of the shivah period and I was unshaven and disoriented. Maddy was in a kind of shock that precluded the daily crying that she would take up a few weeks later. You might think it wasn’t the best way to start a new life in a new city.

But I’m not so sure.

Growth can be painful and we have all grown enormously this year. LA is well on her way to mastering a new role in a new city dealing with all kinds of new people – way faster than even she imagined. Maddy is excelling academically, meeting some good friends and even joining the drum line at school. Ben and Ella learned to read and write and speak Hebrew, they learned to skate and play soccer and ride their bikes, and they have each made new BFFs.

And I have grown to accept that I am not a career-driven person – and I probably never have been. I’ve always chosen work that interests me, work that I find meaningful and socially productive. So it was a natural fit for us to decide that I would be the primary parental unit and home-maker for our family in our new life and new city. At this point in my life, there is nothing I’d rather do than be surrounded by my family. So I made it my mission to make this a successful year for everyone. I am my mother’s son. I learned from her to appreciate the joy that comes from being with your family – cherishing the time you have together with them.

Looking back, it’s been a very good year.

Though I’m told by many people that it took them 2 or 3 years before they started to feel at home in their new city, I can already feel the roots shooting out beneath me and finding solid ground. We are surrounded by some wonderful people here in Edmonton and meeting more every day. This is a special place in that sense. People care. They seem less detached from their collective existence and, in a sense, less parochial.

Our life here is good. We want for nothing significant. We breath clean air and drink nice tasting water from the tap (thanks, EPCOR). We live next to a river valley of unexpected beauty. The kids are in good schools learning to be good citizens and people. The library system, the recreational centres, and the extracurricular sports are great.

Of course, we left grandparents, extended family and dear friends behind in Toronto. And we miss them very much.

But just as nature abhors a vacuum, it seems that the empty spaces in our lives – at our dinner tables and at our social functions – have been quickly filled with good people.  This is what really makes one start to feel at home.

So, Edmonton, it’s been quite a year. A year in which we’ve grown individually and together as a couple and a family.

I look forward with optimism and enthusiasm to our second year and the growth that lies ahead.

In the last days of summer here in Edmonton, we have been drawn to the river. The North Saskatchewan River. A year ago, I couldn’t have named the river that carves this city up like a jigsaw puzzle. But today, it draws me ever nearer.

Today, we spent the afternoon at the water with our suits and crocs so we could get right in there and play.

The water is warm near the shore and refreshingly cool as you go out a bit. The rocks eventually give way to soft muddy sand that almost feels cleansing.

I encouraged the kids to get right in. They loved it!

Even Abby loved it. The river access is from Terwillegar Park which is an off-leash dog park, as well. As soon as she’s off the leach, she’s bounding around like a free spirit – running up ahead then turning back to make sure we’re keeping up.

What a day. The kids refused to leave – I think it could be one of their favourite summer activities so far.

It will be sad when August is over.

Pedalheads is a summer camp for cycling. And being an avid cyclist, I wanted the kids to learn. Several parents in our circle recommended this camp with very high praise. “Your kids go in with no riding knowledge and them come out knowing how to ride,” one mother said.

So, when I checked the web site in February, a few days after the site opened for summer camp registration, I was amazed to find that there were very few spots to choose from. And it was expensive. But everyone speaks so highly of it, so I signed them up for the first week of summer for the 9:30 to noon camp.

In May, we got the twins a couple of new bikes and started some practice riding on the the school field. It was a bit of a struggle, but we were making some progress. I was hopeful that the Pedalheads experience would help them over the hump.

July 5 finally arrived. I remember it was cool (not much more than 10 degrees) and raining when we headed to camp. By all accounts, they were having fun and the counselors were very nice. But at the end of the week, lo and behold, they could not ride on their own. I was disappointed; they were disheartened. Our expectations were shattered.

I thought a lot about it and decided to write the Pedalheads people. I was a bit angry – here we were paying top dollar for a highly recommended camp and nothing to show for it. My complaint was a matter of principle: if you’re going to charge top dollar for a cycling camp, then deliver results.

Within less than 24 hours of sending the email, I received a phone call from one of the top Pedalheads. She was concerned, apologetic and interested in fulfilling our expectations. And she offered us an opportunity to redo the camp at no charge – which we accepted.

I am happy to report that Pedalheads delivered. It may have taken twice as much time, but by the end of this past week both Ben and Ella were riding on their own (more or less). They were very proud of themselves and are getting more confident. And when they are happy, I am happy – both as a parent and a customer.

Kudos to Pedalheads. They proved they are a top class operation.