As I sit at my desk in my new office off the living room, I can see through the large picture window how the first snow covers everything like a pretty white blanket. We (people, in general) whine a lot about the weather, but the glass can also be seen has half full. The snow is actually very beautiful and, here in Edmonton at least, everything gets a clean, white coating when it comes. Unlike back east, where the more moderate temperatures and the “war on winter” mentality ensures that within hours the roads are salted and bare of snow. I’ve always loved the look of snow-covered streets. Be careful what you wish for…

This fall has brought some changes to our life in Edmonton: a new nanny. Up to now, I have played the role of “manny” with varying degrees of success, depending who you ask. I mean, it’s a lot of work taking care of a house and family and anyone who does it really well is to be, well, revered. I can do it all – cooking and cleaning, childcare and extra-curricular – but it gets hard day-in day-out. And a bit boring. So, as my non-domestic workload increased over the past year, I maintained the childcare and extra-curricular ferrying about and cut back on the cleaning. And no one’s truly happy when the house is a mess.

Over the years, we’ve been blessed with amazing nannies that have enriched our lives and lives of our children. In my kids’ minds, they think a “normal” family includes two active parents, plus a nanny. If you find the right nanny, the whole can truly be greater than the sum of the parts for your family. I cross my fingers because I think we may have found another special one.

The twins are growing so fast these days. Just a couple of years ago they were entering 1st grade as semi-literate 6 year olds. Today, they are 8 and reading books and online games, searching YouTube, and texting with their parents and grandparents (using their parents’ smart phones, of course, because 8 is way too young for their own). There is something about their literacy that amazes me – and it’s partly just a fascination I have with literacy itself. To watch your child – anyone’s child, for that matter – acquire the skills of a language and learn to speak and read and write is nothing short of miraculous.

And it’s not just language that they are learning. They are in their “sponge” phase, absorbing everything around them: knowledge and skills, tastes in food and music, bad habits and good ones. Ella loves watching cooking shows on TV and then wants to cook herself. She made the cheese omelettes we ate for breakfast today with only a tiny bit of guidance. By 10, she’ll be cooking full meals. Ben immerses himself in YouTube videos about Bey Blades, Pokemon and Lego Star Wars and comes away with detailed knowledge about these things and enhanced vocabulary and verbal skills. For the twin who started talking a bit late, he’s remarkably tuned in to language.

This is also a time when not so good habits form too. Attitude and talking back habits develop which is surely normal, yet potentially a bigger problem if left unchecked. We’ve stopped watching TV or internet video in our house on school nights. Between piano practicing, Kung Fu, dance and art classes, and homework, this leaves precious little time for video gaming (which can now fill up the weekends). And it creates space for quiet reading time.

I would be remiss not to mention the coming relocation to Winnipeg of our first Edmonton friends, Seth and Joan. Though it seems like a lifetime, it was only two and a half years ago that I called Seth from Toronto inquiring about the possibility of moving to Edmonton. When we came for a tour of the Talmud Torah school, Seth showed up to greet us. And when we arrived at our new home, Seth and Joan met us at the local park for an afternoon play date with the kids. Since reaching out so warmly and welcoming us to our new city, we have become close with Seth and Joan and are very sad to see them leave. Having been in their shoes before, we understand the mixed feelings surrounding such a move: the excitement about the opportunities that lie ahead and the bittersweet feelings of leaving a place – and all the people – that you’ve thought of as home for so long.

The high holy days are now over. I greeted their passing last evening with the same relief I feel when I walk out of the dentist’s office with another 6 month reprieve. Thank God, or whoever makes these so-called holidays, that I don’t have to do this again for another year.

With this new Jewish year come many changes in our lives. The biggest change for me involves my transition back into working life. Not that I haven’t been working from my home office on a variety of projects, while managing the day-to-day needs of my family. And loving it. But I’ve found something else I love to do too – and I need to do it.

So, we’ve hired a new caregiver who will live with us. This changes everything. Many of those things that need to get done to support a family can now get done without my direct involvement – cooking, cleaning, caring for kids, sick days, etc. This frees me up to work, travel…and chauffeur. Our caregiver doesn’t drive. I’m sure it will feel good to be needed.

The twins have entered grade 3 and begun the transition to tween-agers. Every day beings new growth and a step in the direction of independence. It’s exhilarating to watch and also terrifying. I fear both for them and for myself, getting older and less relevant with each passing day. Perhaps I overstate it a bit, but our kids become a daily reminder of our passing youth, don’t they? I watch as they grow up and change into more mature little people and I can’t help but see them as a mirror on my own aging. Yikes. Let’s change the subject…

Maddy is evolving into a lovely young woman – as if there was ever any doubt. I’m constantly asked how she’s enjoying university to which I offer my stock reply: she’d be nuts not to love it. Newfound independence, coupled with an abundance of social opportunities and intellectual freedom – what could be better? I remember my university days fondly and, while my situation was a bit different, the underlying truth holds: university is a supreme privilege and should be characterized by the pursuit of pure learning and knowledge. Learning comes in many forms and much of it occurs outside the classroom. Maddy is doing fine and if she’s like the rest of us she won’t realize how good she has it until it’s gone.

This very same weekend on which Jews seek to atone for our sins, we also give thanks secularly for our great blessings.

I believe this deeply, but perhaps it’s easier to do so when I have the best of a lot of things. I have my health – and my hair. I have a loving family to care for – and who care for me. I have a wife and partner who works hard and enables me to be who I am.

So, as we transition into the next phase of our lives and the season ahead, I try to remember to be thankful for what I’ve got.

It seems so long ago now. My mother was suffering with dementia for much of the decade before we moved out west in August ‘09, yet her passing coincided with the week of our move – literally days before we were set to fly. So much has happened since then – we’ve settled into Edmonton, made lots of new friends, our kids have grown and matured. It seems like a lifetime ago.

We  are planning to be out of town on the Yahrzeit date and it got me to thinking about how I wanted to memorialize my mother. I was putting the the card back in the envelop when I noticed the stamps on the envelop. I recognized them, but they were not from this time.

I felt like I had seen these stamps before – and I had. I used to collect them as a kid. It was a hobby my dad introduced me to as a young boy because he and his dad had loved stamp collecting. I also enjoyed it for a number of years and collected all kinds of stamps. These stamps that appeared on the letter I received this week came from that era of stamp collecting in my life. That was exactly where I’d seen them.

So I did some research and found the following:

Year of issue: 1966	Year of issue: 1976	Year of issue: 1983

So now, my curiosity is piqued. Why is someone sending me a letter in 2011 using stamps issued in 1966, 1976 and 1983? That, by itself, is unusual – not to mention the fact that the sender chose to use a “praying hands” Christmas stamp to communicate with me about a Jewish memorial custom.

Then I get to thinking: is this a message of some kind? Is someone trying to speak to me, send me a message from the past?

There is some symbolism in the stamps: my mom converted to Judaism before she married my dad, yet Christmas family time was still a big part of our lives growing up.

Maybe there’s something about the stamps’ years of issue that I am supposed to be mindful of at this time?

The years are certainly full of milestones. In 1966, my grandfather Frank Palter (z”l) died. I was only two years old, so I never really got to know him. In 1976, I was 12 years old and when I remember back on my youth, it is this year and those surrounding it where my most vivid memories reside. My mother was a vibrant, engaging personality – in many ways in her prime. In many ways, that’s how I’ll always remember her. And in 1983, I graduated high school and set off across the ocean for a year abroad in Israel. It was the beginning of the rest of my life – a highly influential experience.

But it still doesn’t totally add up – and maybe it shouldn’t. But I can’t help but wonder what it means.

I’ll be thinking about this for a while yet. I’ll let you know if I come up with anything.

1. The warmth of the air in the morning and the relaxed feeling that comes from not having to tighten up your body to resist the cold.
2. The clear blue sky.
3. The rugged and scenic San Jacinto mountains that are always to your immediate west.
4. The breakfasts at Cheekys.
5. The Australian grass fed beef burgers at Grind Burger Bar.
6. Happy hour in a tourist town without enough tourists.
7. Bottomless all day champagne at Pinochio’s.
8. Strolling down Palm Canyon Drive during the Thursday night open air markets and getting henna tattoos for the kids.
9. Riding my bike through the hot, flat desert along beautifully landscaped paths.
10. Dinner at La Spiga in Palm Desert.
11. Floating in a big salt water pool warmed to 86F in 100F heat.
12. Doing yoga and working out poolside.
13. Reading Jonathan Franzen’s The Corrections.
14. Discovering the joy and usability of my new MacBook Pro.
15. Paying $16 for 1.75 Litres of Smirnoff vodka.
16. Rule number 4.
17. The palm trees and the Bougainvillea.
18. The sleek, mid-century modern architecture and style throughout this city.
19. Having our own grapefruit tree in the backyard.
20. Having a Passover seder outside next to the pool.
21. Drinking Dead Guy Ale.
22. Cappuccino at Cielo.

There are also some learnings/observations that we take away from this 30 day family vacation in the desert. And these are, in no order of relevance:

• The north end of Palm Springs (basically, anything north of Vista Chino) is a wind tunnel – hence the hundreds of wind turbines - and should be avoided at all costs if you are a wind-phobe like me.
• The city of Palm Springs, in fact much of the state of California, is in economic distress, as evidenced by the abundance of vacant retail space and glut of vacation rental stock on the market.
• And, finally, thirty days, though lovely, may be too many days to be away from home – even in this spring paradise of consumerism and good weather – leading to two possible options: either we need to visit more frequently for shorter stays or make the desert home one day.

Lots to ponder over the 28 hours of driving that lie ahead.

Our dream daughter Maddy turned 18 today and life is about to change.

First, no more permission forms. At 18, she can grant herself permission to go on field trips at school and even excuse herself from class. And there’s no point making her doctor’s appointments anymore because the doctor can’t, by law, tell you anything about her medical condition because it’s private.

Great. Does that mean she can cook for herself (and maybe even for us sometimes), keep her room in reasonable order, walk her dog and do her other basic responsibilities without being told to? Ha! Fat chance.

Even mature children who excel academically and are generally nice to be around need to be taught how to be good housemates. And so, as we move into this next stage of life and the evolution of our parent-child relationship, I am filled with genuine excitement about the process of watching Maddy develop into the person she is becoming.

Who is she becoming? A young woman of incredible intellectual capability. Someone with a critical mind who can search for the truth and not accept what is spoon-fed to her as such. A committed friend who shows loyalty in her relationships to a few special people, rather than to large numbers of acquaintances. A compassionate and loving sister who, more often than not, is a nurturing caregiver to her younger siblings.

Is she an angel? Yes, in the sense that we feel blessed to have her in our lives. But, like all terrestrial angels, she’s evolving – making mistakes, changing, going through stages and improving with time.

So happy 18th birthday to Madelynne Elizabeth, AKA Maddy, our evolving angel. We love you!

I’m relatively newish to Edmonton, so this feels like a startling discovery to me. It started when I saw a picture of my friend, a long-time Edmontonian, standing with her arm outstretched and a tiny bird eating seeds out of her hand.

“Wow, that’s a very cool picture,” I told her. I still use the word “cool” to describe things I find really neat. (Apparently, I also still use the word “neat” to describe “cool” things.) “Where was that taken?”

“My favourite thing to do as a kid was to go and feed the chickadees. You should do it with your kids. Want some seed?”

So, I left her place with a bag full of bird seed, precise instructions on how to get to the spot and a warning: be patient.

We woke up the next day to a crystal clear, sunny January morning. The temperature hovered just above zero for the first time in weeks. A perfect day for feeding the chickadees.

Accompanied by my seven year old twins, my almost 18 year old teenager and my ageless mother-in-law – Ben, Ella, Maddy, and Linda, respectively - I drove to Emily Murphy Park in search of a real nature experience.

We entered the park from Saskatchewan Dr. and followed the road all the way to the parking area next to the Groat Road bridge. Then, we walked along the path heading westerly (away from the downtown) along the riverside. We stuck to the walking/biking trail (no bikes to worry about because of the snow) which runs parallel to the skiing/horseback riding trail.

After walking for a bit, we stopped and looked around. There were no birds to be seen or heard. Being an urban naturalist, I pulled out my iPhone and texted my friend seeking clarification on where we were supposed to be heading. Her response came back a minute later: “Keep walking.”

So, we continued on and within a few minutes we started to hear them in the trees and see them flashing by out of the corner of our eyes. We stopped and passed out the bird seed which we held in our open hands at the end of outstretched arms.

“Shhh,” I said. “Pretend you’re a tree.” So that’s what we did. Then, we waited. Patiently.

Lo and behold, the chickadees came. Spying us from above, they would approach cautiously and sit on a nearby tree branch. Then, in an instant they would land on our hands and grab a seed or two before flying off again. The feeling of their tiny claws was strange, but didn’t hurt a bit. And we all had success – multiple times the birds came and ate from each of our hands.

The twins were over the moon – fighting hard to suppress their giggles of joy when the birds landed on their hands.  Even the teenager – who happens to be an ornithophile – was quite impressed. And grandma and I were both a bit surprised at how enjoyable it felt to interact with these tiny birds in a natural setting.

If you are looking for a quick and fun family outing in the city, visit the chickadees down by the riverside. And don’t forget your camera.

All the details can be found on the map below. Let me know how you enjoy enjoy it.

View Feeding the chickadees by the riverside in Edmonton in a larger map

1. Book your cruise through an agent. The business seems complicated – numerous companies, various vessels, different specialities – so there is value in getting some help choosing the right one for you. If you happen to live in Edmonton, you must call Lissa Antflick at Expedia Cruise Ship Centres. She is wonderful and will make the experience as good as it can be.

2. Cruising is designed to be easy. Your hotel room, your restaurants, your clubs, your casino, your recreational activities, your entertainment and your friends – everything you could possibly need in order to have a good vacation is on board and moving with you from port to port. Everything is scheduled for you – all you need to do is show up. Easy-peasy.

3. Food is very important on a cruise. If it’s not to your liking, your vacation won’t be either. We were cruising with Princess and the food was actually quite good. There was always a buffet open serving breakfast, lunch, dinner or snacks. On board restaurants serve dinner based on reservations (anytime dining) or at a set time of your choosing. Dining and the social interactions surrounding it is a huge part of the cruise experience, so if you love eating and can afford to gain 10 pounds, you’ll be in heaven. If not, it may be worth considering another type of holiday. And while cruise attire is generally causal, people get dressed up for dinner. Well, some do. Others lack some sort of appropriate attire gene – there’s no other way to make sense of what some people choose to wear to a formal dining room.

4. For some people, the whole boat thing rules out cruising. Turns out I fear large boats and water more than I do flying, so I spent the first couple of days seeing visions of the Poseiden Adventure and Titanic flash before my eyes. I was worried about the ship’s movement and how it would affect me – and the kids. Turns out the kids were fine most of the time. We used far less than anticipated of the motion sickness medications that we brought along. Most surprising though was post-cruise: I had (what I consider to be) a bad case of sea legs that lasted almost 2 days. I guess you can’t really know how you’ll respond until you try it.

5. On board entertainment and activities are often cited as the reason people like cruising. I’m not really into variety shows at the best of times. Though we did attend the stand-up comedy show and it was good for a few laughs. There are all kinds of other musicians and performers on board and generally I was not impressed. You don’t cruise for the entertainment. Activities were numerous, but not that attractive. Maybe I’m too young – or too snobby. These things are always a matter of taste and mine seemed a bit out of sync with the majority of other cruise vacationers on board.

6. New ships versus old ships. For whatever reason, I wanted an newer ship. (Maybe the irrational fear of water acting up again.) Regardless of the reason, the new Sapphire Princess was launched in 2005 and was lovely and clean and in great shape throughout. Though it is strange how interior design on boats seems stuck somewhere in the 80s. I wanted a boat that felt like a W Hotel, but I don’t even know if something like that exists.

7. Kids programming is important if you have some with you. There were over 600 kids (aged 0-17) on board our cruise and there was custom programming for all of them. Unlike some kid programs in resorts we’ve been to, the cruise programs for kids were run by teachers, some retired and others on working vacations, which made for some benefits. Most importantly, our kids loved the programs and the socializing with other kids and made themselves scarce most of the day and even some evenings. This meant we could dine as adults, drink a bottle of wine and not worry about kid care.  Brilliant!

8. When you compare an all-inclusive vacation (food, drink and airfare) to a cruise (with food) and add airfare and drinks, the cruise is costlier. Plus, on the cruise there are all sorts of add-on costs that just rub me the wrong way. For instance, if I want soft drinks I can pay for them one at a time or buy an unlimited quantity for $9/day per person. Do the math: that’s over $250 for unlimited Coke for a week for a family of four – and that’s just stupid. But that’s the cruise business model – you’re a captive market for a week and they’re trying every possible scheme to separate you and your money, every day, all week. Art auctions. Shopping excursions. Port day trips. Champagne breakfasts. Wine tastings. Ka-ching. Actually, the more I think of this aspect, the more I resent it.

9. Technology and connectivity on board the ship was terrible. I haven’t seen a bigger collection of CRT televisions in a decade. And internet access was stupid expensive – they wanted $0.35/minute and were selling their biggest package for $175 for 500 minutes. The internet lounge was large – and mostly a ghost town. I understand that satellite connectivity at sea is expensive, but why weren’t there free wifi connections in port. That would be way cheaper for them to provide. Seemed to me that the cruise company was missing a big opportunity with onboard communications. There were almost 3000 passengers on board and a wifi LAN that allowed people to connect with each other would have been fun. Each day, they were printing and distributing a flyer to each room with the next day’s activities. A local web page would have been great. Looking around at most of the passengers on board, it was clear why they don’t offer this kind of service.

10. The details that go into running a floating hotel complex for 3000 people for a week is impressive and I was constantly impressed by Princess. However, they really dropped the ball on the check out process. There was no automatic, hassle-free way to see your bill (again, wifi could be helpful here). Once you got your print-out of charges, you had to stand in line to get corrections made while only ONE staff member served 20 passengers. And even then, we had to wait the better part of an hour for the tour people to come upstairs and reverse a clearly duplicate charge for the port-to-airport transfer fee. Left a bad impression and almost appeared to be by design – which means someone was counting on most people not paying much attention to what charges would be hitting their credit card on the last day of the cruise. Not impressed.

Cruising has some definite upsides, but also a number of downsides depending on who you are. At it’s heart, cruising seems to offer some traditionalist appeal – there is something fun about moving from port to port at 20 knots, about seeing blue sea and sky in all directions while sitting by the pool. But I’m not sure we’re going to be rushing to book our next one.

I’m working on a longer piece on the ups and downs of cruising (hey, there’s a nice title for the upcoming post), so enjoy the pictures for now.

Hollywood and Mexico Cruise 2010 from Jay Palter on Vimeo.

So we’ve recorded a greeting for you, dad and hope that you have a good day and a great year.

Much love from all of us.

I remember a song from the 70s – something about it never raining in California. Well, that myth has been shattered. It’s been raining here for days and will continue for several more.

And the fact is – there isn’t much to do in LA in the rain. Shopping is outdoors. The fun street life is outdoors. Venice Beach is (obviously) outdoors. The Griffith Observatory is very close by but is closed the two days we are here.

If we weren’t getting on a ship and heading to sunny Mexico in a couple of days, we’d be way more depressed. Those poor families we saw on the plane who came to go to Disneyland – so sad.

On the good side, we all love the W Hollywood. A relatively new development at the corner of Hollywood and Vine, the W is always a pleasure. The funniest part is that Ben and Ella just love the place – the cool design, the open space, the room details. Ella didn’t even want to go out today – she wanted to stay in the hotel and curl up with a good book.

It was clear this morning that we may be among the only people to ever visit Hollywood for three days and NOT see the sign on the hills. The rooftop pool at the W supposedly has a great view of it when the clouds are not practically touching the ground. We were up on the roof for a dip in the pool this morning – damned if this rain was going to ruin a great rooftop pool. It did, but the kids had fun.

Oh, and Mann’s Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Blvd is very cool. But Yogi Bear is a terrible movie.

There’s more to come about LA, but my LA wants to go out tonight. Kate Mantilini’s in Beverly Hills seems to be the ticket. Details to follow.