Being the primary parent comes with lots of rewards and challenges. But I now understand how difficult it is to leave the charges behind, if only for an extended weekend.

It’s true that they rely on me every day – in ways they understand and in ways they don’t. Yet I also rely on their reliance on me to give my days purpose and meaning. A good day is when I’ve spent time with them, enjoyed their companionship, and guided them along what I consider their right path (i.e., disciplined them in some way).

I am going away for the weekend and I will miss them. I will get on the plane and I will cry at some point because I will miss asking them about their days, reading to them before bed, kissing them and telling them how much I love them and hearing back from them how much they love me. And on Sunday, I will be pining to see them. When I arrive home late on Sunday night, I will go to their rooms and kiss them lightly and tell them I am home. (Of course, Ben’s first question will be to ask me for the toy I promised I would buy him.)

Rationally, I understand that I need to get away and pursue interests other than day-to-day parenting. And I am really interested in the weekend planned and I am sure I will enjoy myself.

But, rightly or wrongly, I will miss them – more than I should.

I miss them already, just thinking about it.